Being pregnant has some pretty great perks:
Eating, pampering, ooohing and awwwing, eating, longer and shinier hair, longer nails(although I like mine filed short), stomach flutters, eating, excuses for NOT doing things, stretch maternity jeans, bigger boobs, and did I mention eating? Uh, can I get an amen???
Yeah, eating is my thing. I
love me some food like a mug. And I have a daughter following in my every little
foodstep. She says, "Mommy, I love food. I love to eat!" That's my girl, you tell 'em, butter butt!
With previous pregnancies, I was such a foodie. And felt like a bottomless pit, except my bottom wasn't bottomless, but more like a "whoomp-there-it-is" landing strip. (But I have to say, it looked nice in that state!!) So needless to say, tightening clothes and the ever-changing number on the scale were tell-tale signs of my love for food during these pregnancies.
It wouldn't have been so bad if I were eating fruits and veggies and tofu and tofutti and soy-laden crap foods. Ugh, the horror of eating healthy!! And I didn't have any,
do you hear me?, ANY morning sickness, nausea, or food terrorists threatening to destroy my food supply during those pregnancies, so I took it upon myself to eat all that my body could hold...and often. I'd post of picture of my last pregnancy about 3 weeks before I gave birth, but even I'm horrified by it. And you think Freddie Kruger is scary, I still have daytime nightmares about growing that large!
WHOOMP, WHOOMP, WHOOMP, HERE COMES THE LARGE PREGNANT WOMAN! WATCH OUT, SHE'S GOING TO EAT YOU! RUN, FORREST, RUN!!!Okay, I'm exaggerating,
a little, but I did get big. Gosh, women's bodies can go through a lot and still have a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, perfectly intact and shiny and new, well, sort of like new.
Except that whole giving birth thing.So point is, this pregnancy has been TOTALLY different. I've had some nausea, some thoughts of certain foods stricken my ability to even speak about food, and I've had enormous cravings for...you guessed it, F-R-U-I-T!! Yay!!! Apples, strawberries, grapes, fresh pineapple, bananas, and oranges. A few days, it was apples, then came bananas and now it's oranges. Now, I like oranges, but I don't usually eat them very often, but I've had more in the last few days than I've had in the last couple of years.
I ate fresh pineapple the other day and thought I'd died and gone to heaven in
Carmen Miranda's "tutti-fruitti" hat. It was that good! Cookies? Uh unh. Second helpings? Yeah right. Ice cream? Nope. Glazed donuts? Aw, well, occasionally. But I'm faring much better this time around with my gluttonous food habit. But I am certainly enjoying the kaleidoscope of natural fruit juices in my now colorful diet.
Sometimes, when I eat something (only because I actually
am hungry and not because I'm pregnant believing that I'm eating for two adults), I get this awful gag-reflex at the thought of eating another bite of my meal. Perfect. And I'm paying attention to my weight. I wasn't a skinny minnie before I got pregnant, but I won't be a big pig after.
I'm proud of myself as the increasing scale numbers have only been a very small fraction of comparable pregnancies. And to that, I say "Womp, Womp" a la Julie Roberts' "Pretty Woman" cheers at the polo match, rounding my fist in the air. I am totally going to rock this baby bump!
But, before I close, I have to do the proverbial Knock, Knock joke in honor of my orange cravings:
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?I'm leaving the stage now! Please don't throw any tomatoes at me! And since posts are better with pictures, here are my sleeping, fruit-loving, butter-butts:
